I am NOT giving up the days I earned!!!

I have so much bouncing around in my noggin right now. So many thoughts that are fighting with each other because they want to be heard. Lets see if I can sum them all up here.

By having the sugar on the chocolate covered strawberries last Friday I feel like I failed. :(  Failed myself and you.

 I feel like I was tested and I *knew* I could have turned it down but I chose not to.  I went through the cravings on Saturday (which were a bitch!) but I was able to keep them at bay. Yesterday I was really annoyed with someone for brushing aside my feelings.   I let that bother me a bit to much and the chocolate covered bananas thateveryonewantedtotrybutnooneliked made an appearance into my mouth. I have such conflicting emotions on the eating of the chocolate covered fruit.  Everything from "It could have been worse" to "you call this a fail?! this was a snack last year" to "at least it was chocolate covered fruit and not cake/pie/ice cream/cookies/insert stereo typical dessert here"

I had a good day today despite the stress leading up to it (remember that summons I mentioned a month ago?) Afterwards I thought about hitting up a fast food joint to try their new fish bites but I realized I had way yummier cabbage/bacon at home.

So now that I have that typed out the next part of my boingy thoughts.

I failed at the avoiding sugar on day 47 then again on day 50. I was so torn on if I should just start all over on day 1 or keep going. Last night I totally planned on making today day 1 again.  This morning I totally thought about making this day 1 again. This afternoon I totally thought about making this day 1 again.  This evening I said F that shit! I earned those other 48 days!!!!!!!  So I am not starting over at day one.  Instead I will continue to earn my days one by one.  I am sticking with my avoiding sugar/carbs but I need to realize that there are going to be days I am not as perfect as I would like to be. There are days I might have a serving of *gasp* carbs. I have not felt I failed the two times I have had sushi or even the biscuits from Red Lobster.

SUGAR is my enemy.  However simple (non fruit) carbs go with sugar hand and hand most times. (Fruit doesn't trigger me)

Today makes day 51 of the new and improved eating habits I have adopted in 2013. (started 12/31/12)

This is how I am going to keep track for myself and for you.  I am quite proud of the bottom two. Maybe I am cheating by saying except chocolate covered fruit but eh it is my blog.  Hahaha!

Avoided sugar :    49/51    
Avoided simple carbs :   45/51
Avoided every other* sugar junk food:  51/51   minus chocolate covered fruit  :X
*= ,cake,cookies,ice cream, pie, pudding and the like.
Avoided regular soda: 51/51